Recovering from addiction is a very personal journey, but something many share is a sense of achievement and renewal.

On the other side of the coin, for many individuals who have walked this path, the joy of recovery can be accompanied by an unexpected emotional burden – survivor’s guilt. And this feeling (which is commonly linked with those who survive traumatic events) can be equally as intense and debilitating for those recovering from active addiction, especially in the early stages.

In this article, we explore what survivor’s guilt is, why it affects those in recovery, and how to navigate life after addiction with this complex emotion.

What Is Survivor’s Guilt?

Survivor’s guilt in the context of someone who has reached recovery is quite complex. It occurs when individuals who have successfully overcome their addiction feel a deep sense of guilt for having survived and recovered. This is likely down to the fact that they may know others and have loved ones still struggling or have recently succumbed to addiction.

Experiencing survivor’s guilt can look and feel different, depending on the individual. For example, someone may feel guilty or undeserving of their recovery, questioning why and how they managed to succeed when others didn’t, and experiencing a sense of responsibility for those who haven’t made it yet.

The individual might find themselves consumed by thoughts of whether they could have done more to help others or feeling like they abandoned those still suffering. This emotional back and forth with themselves is likely to cause ongoing feelings of sadness, anxiety, and even depression.

Survivor’s guilt can be particularly intense if the person has lost friends or family members to addiction as they find themselves constantly thinking about the unfairness of the situation.

Why Does Survivor’s Guilt Happen?

90% of people who survive something that has taken the lives of others feel survivor guilt, and there are a few reasons why someone might experience intense guilt in recovery.

  1. Empathy: Those who recover often possess a deep sense of empathy for those still suffering from addiction. This can translate into guilt for their own success, especially if they’re seeing others in pain.
  2. Shared experiences: People in recovery often form close bonds with others facing similar battles. Watching these friends struggle or fail can cause a strong sense of guilt.
  3. Sense of unfairness: Recovery can sometimes feel like a stroke of luck, especially if their own journey to recovery was more linear than others. This perceived unfairness can lead to feelings of guilt.
  4. Reminders of the past: Interactions with those who haven’t recovered can be seen as a reminder of their past struggles in active addiction, which lead that person to experience survivor’s guilt for having moved on.

How to Recognise Survivor’s Guilt

As mentioned earlier, survivor’s guilt can show up in many different ways and can really affect how you feel. However, having a general idea of what it can look like is the first step to dealing with it and starting the process to feel better.

One of the most obvious signs of survivor’s guilt is feeling guilty or bad about your recovery. You might wonder why you got better while others are still having a hard time. This feeling can make it hard to enjoy your success and can make you feel like you don’t deserve it.

Another clue that you might be dealing with survivor’s guilt is if you downplay your achievements. Maybe you brush off your sobriety as just being lucky or because of something other than your own hard work. This can happen if you feel like it’s not fair to be proud of yourself when others are still struggling.

You might also find yourself avoiding talking to or hanging out with people who are still fighting addiction. It can be uncomfortable or make you anxious to talk or see others having a hard time, so you might start to keep your distance. This usually comes from feeling really bad for them and not wanting to make their situation worse.

Another common sign is feeling sad or depressed when you think about others who are still suffering. Knowing that people you care about are still struggling can make you feel really down. These feelings can be even stronger if those people are close to you, making you feel responsible or deeply sad about their pain.

Healthy Coping Strategies for Survivor’s Guilt

Understanding how to deal with survivor’s guilt involves a combination of self-awareness, emotional support, and proactive strategies. Here’s our advice on some effective ways that may help:

  • Don’t bury your feelings: It’s essential to accept that survivor’s guilt is a very natural and valid emotion. Denying or suppressing it can lead to further emotional distress. So, try to acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
  • Reach out for help: Therapists and counsellors who specialise in addiction recovery will know this feeling all too well and can provide invaluable support. They can help you understand your emotions and help you work through unhealthy coping mechanisms.
  • Support groups: Joining a support group for those in recovery can be really beneficial. Sharing experiences with others who understand your journey can alleviate these feelings of isolation and guilt.
  • Set boundaries: Although it’s important to support others, it’s also equally as important to protect your own mental health, especially in recovery. So, set boundaries for yourself to ensure you’re not overwhelmed by the struggles of others.
  • Gratitude: Practising gratitude can shift your focus from guilt to appreciation. Reminding yourself daily of the positives in your life can help balance your emotions.
  • Help others: Volunteering, mentoring, or simply being a supportive friend can provide a sense of purpose and help you work through your feelings of guilt.
  • Take time to reflect: Think about the effort it took to reach where you are. You should be incredibly proud of this. Acknowledge the hard work and determination it requires, which can help you appreciate your success.
  • Allow yourself to celebrate: Milestones and successes are a big deal, and they should be treated as such. Recognising and celebrating your progress can help counterbalance feelings of guilt.

How to Embrace Life After Addiction

Learning how to embrace life after addiction is a continuous journey, so remember always to practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself and recognise that feeling guilty is a very natural human emotion. It does not diminish your worth or the value of your recovery.

Staying connected with supportive friends, family, and community members is also important at this time. A strong support network can provide you with emotional stability and reassurance, which goes a long way when you’re learning how to live a life free from addiction once again.

Engaging in healthy activities is another key aspect. Look for activities that promote your physical and mental well-being, such as exercise, meditation, and hobbies. These can all contribute to a balanced and fulfilling life.

Additionally, continue your personal growth. Recovery is not just about abstaining from substances – it’s also about personal growth and self-improvement. Keep setting and achieving personal goals, no matter how small.

Educating yourself and others about addiction and recovery can help with reducing the stigma around addiction. Sharing your knowledge with others and your own personal experience with recovery can create a more supportive environment and provide hope.

It’s also essential to accept imperfection. Neither you nor anyone else is perfect. Recovery is a journey with ups and downs, and it’s important to embrace both successes and setbacks. The only thing that’s important here is staying committed to your recovery. So, attend those therapy sessions you’ve scheduled, participate in support groups, attend aftercare support and follow any prescribed recovery treatment plans. Commitment to your recovery is so important for long-term success.

Reach Out for Addiction Support Today

Survivor’s guilt is a common but often overlooked aspect of addiction recovery. So, by acknowledging your feelings, learning how to work through negative emotions, seeking support, and engaging in positive actions – you can overcome this complex emotion and learn how to really thrive in recovery.

If you’re worried about relapse or have a loved one in active alcohol or drug addiction, reach out to us today. We can provide free, confidential advice as well as other professional help and treatment for addiction. Call us 0800 880 7596.

John Gillen - Director at Ocean Recovery

John Gillen - Author - Last updated: August 9, 2024

John is one UK’s leading professionals in the addiction recovery industry. Pioneering new treatment techniques such as NAD+ and ongoing research into new therapy techniques such as systematic laser therapy, John is committed to providing the very best treatment for people throughout the UK and Europe. During his extremely busy schedule, John likes to regularly update our blog section with the latest news and trends in the industry to keep visitors to our site as well informed as possible on everything related to addiction treatment.